CHAPTER 25 - KANDY
From Richard's memoirs, recovered from his original WordPerfect files
“A son is a son, until he takes a wife,
But a daughter is a daughter for all her life.”
While I was stationed at Dover Air Base on Friday, 2 November 1945 at 2115 Military Time I wrote a letter to DeVonne that in part said:
“My Darling Wife:-
I want you to be very careful now, Honey. Now while you're pregnant I mean. . . . Don't be too surprised if you find you have a very easy time with the baby this time, Honey, and that it turns out to be a blonde, blue-eyed girl - all sweet and pretty like you.” . . . I have prayed to God that this time He will let us have a little baby girl. A real sweet, little blonde, blue-eyed baby girl. All wholesome and normal as she should be. So don't be surprised, Dear, if it all turns out that way.” . . .
Still at Dover Air Base in January 1946, I received the following telegram from DeVonne's Father:
“WESTERN UNION (COLTON, CALIF. 21 1142A)
LT. R. C. CLARKE, 4146 AAF BASE UNIT DOVER ARMY AIR FIELD, DOVER DELAWARE=
DAUGHTER BORN JAN 21 1215 AM DARK HAIR WEIGHT SIX 15 3/4 OZ BOTH FINE. E H MAY”
The following day I received orders releasing me from my assignment and attached unassigned to the Separation Base at Santa Ana, California. This gave me a chance to get home a few days after DeVonne and Kandy left the Hospital. With the slow processing of discharge I was able to stay home with DeVonne for nearly 30 days and help her with the new baby before going back to the base for my final discharge.
So -- our daughter, Kathrine Andrea Clarke, was born on 21 January 1946 in the Loma Linda Hospital, Loma Linda, California. DeVonne wanted to call her “Candice” so we could call her “Candy” but I held out for Kathrine (without the “e” between the “h” and “r”) Andrea. The “K” and Andrea made “Kandy.” The name has been hers ever since.
Kandy was always a good girl and a joy to be around. She might get out of sorts occasionally but she never ever really gave us any trouble. Her bone structure is much like mine, and in her want to show us that she could do anything her big brothers could do, as a child she was quite a “tomboy.” Years ago I clipped a cartoon from the newspaper with the father standing outside the house with his daughter bruised and scratched from fighting, with the boys. His wife stood at the window looking out at them and the father says: “I think she might decide to be a lady yet, dear! . . . This is the fourth fight in a row that she has lost! . . .”
In the summer of 1949 when we moved to Panorama City, the days were overcast and visibility was limited. Kandy was about three years old and on the first clear day she came running into the house to say: “Mommy, Mommy, there are mountains down here!”
When Kandy was a little girl I used to sing a lullaby to her at night. DeVonne says I learned it from her, as she used to sing it to our boys. It went like this:
“That sly old gentleman from feather bed lane,
He's watching you, he's peeking through your window pane.
He'll gather sand from the stars, that glitter and gleam.
He'll sprinkle your eyes with dreams.
He'll make your little heart, so happy and gay
You'll ride a rocking horse across the Milky Way.
Why stay awake, you'd better take that slumber train
With the sly old gentleman from feather bed lane.”
On 3 March 1959, when she was 13 years old, I received the following from Kandy:
“Dear Daddy,
I love you very much and I thank you for giving me a home, a bed and food, and clothes. And that I am living, and in the Church. I am proud of you because you became Bishop in our ward, and everyone is watching me. It makes me be on my toes and I do like it. You're the best daddy in the world.
Love, Kandy”
Kandy went to Chase Street School in the neighborhood and seemed to be doing all right in her school work. About the third grade DeVonne visited her class at Parents' Day while they showed her what the students did each day. During the Reading segment DeVonne discovered that Kandy was very poor in her performance. The previous teachers had apparently ignored the fact, if they knew it at all, and passed her on to the next teacher and grade. I went to the bookstore and bought a primer and maybe one other book and DeVonne started teaching Kandy to read at home. In a few months she was up where she belonged and never had anymore problem with reading.
Kandy went to Kindergarten and Grades one through six at Chase Street School, finishing in the Spring of 1957. She attended Robert Fulton Junior High School for the next three years, graduating in June of 1960.
Kandy had a couple of boy friends, who were members of the Church, when she was about twelve years old. In 1958 the Roger Zierenberg Senior family moved from Long Island, New York to Panorama City and became members of our Van Nuys Second Ward, while I was Bishop. The Zierenberg's oldest son, Roger Junior, and Kandy became acquainted. Officially, they started going together at a Mutual swim party on 13 September 1959. This proved to be a lasting relationship - now after some thirty years and eleven children they are still in love and devoted to each other.
When Kandy was in her fifteenth year she received her Patriarchal Blessing from Patriarch Joseph M. Cottam. In part it reads as follows:
. . . “The Lord has blessed you exceedingly in having been born in this goodly land of America, a land free from bondage and captivity, a land where we can worship according to the dictates of our own conscience. The Lord has blessed you exceedingly in having been born in a goodly home, a home with choice blessings where you have been taught to live uprightly before the Lord, where you have been taught all the fundamental principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Honor your Father and Mother that their days may be long upon the land which the Lord their God has promised. You have been born into a home with wonderful brothers who have set examples for you to follow for they are going into the world to preach the everlasting gospel. The Lord loves them for this service. . . .
“The Lord has blessed you with a beautiful personality and He expects you to use your personality, your gifts and your blessings in the service of your fellow men and in the service of your God. . . .
“Let your light so shine before all they with whom you associate in your daily work, that they seeing your good works will also help to glorify our Father in Heaven. Seek to get a good education for that is one of the fundamental laws of Heaven. Be humble, be diligent and be prayerful. Attend Sacrament Services, for we are commanded to meet together often in the name of the Lord to be taught and to be edified. Seek first the kingdom of God and its righteousness and all the earthly things of life will be added unto you. Pray for the spiritual blessings which the Lord has promised His faithful saints.” . . .
We lived in the same house all the time our children were going to school. Each attended Robert Fulton Junior High School, but each went to a different High School. Kandy's was Monroe High School and she graduated in June of 1963.
In the Fall of 1963 Kandy enrolled at Los Angeles Valley College in Van Nuys and spent one year there before transferring to Brigham Young University in 1964.
On 17 December 1966 Kandy was returning from BYU for the Christmas Holidays with John Winder and Dennis Kinghorn, also students at the “Y.” They were riding in John's VW and Kandy was driving at the time when about 14 miles east of the Yermo, California check station on US Highway 91 Kandy lost control of the car either by falling asleep or, as the ambulance driver stated, by road hypnosis. The accident occurred at approximately 2:30 AM. The car rolled over at least once and Kandy was thrown from the car. Dennis, riding in the front seat, and John riding in the back seat both remained in the car. Fortunately no other car was involved in the accident. Neither John nor Dennis complained of injury beyond a few slight bumps. Kandy thought she had broken her collarbone. Kandy always maintained that she was dozing and as the car veered to the edge of the highway Dennis grabbed the wheel to bring the car back to the center of the road and he over compensated which caused the car to roll over.
The California Highway Patrol came to the scene and took what information they required for their report and called an ambulance for Kandy. She was taken to Barstow Community Hospital, with Dennis riding along in the ambulance. She and Dennis both received medical examination, including X-Ray. Dennis' X-Rays proved negative. Kandy's left knee was X-Rayed and, although it was quite tender, the X-Ray showed negative. A X-Ray of her left clavicle showed it to be fractured. She received additional minor bruises and slight abrasions but apparently nothing of a serious nature. The attending physician applied a harness brace to her shoulders to hold the clavicle in position temporarily and recommended her to her own doctor when she arrived home. I drove to Barstow and brought all three students home. John's automobile, a 1958 Volkswagen, was towed into an auto-repair yard on the outskirts of Barstow. As John only carried P.L. and P.D. insurance the car was considered a total loss as the expense to repair it would have been considerable more than it was worth.
Upon arriving home I took Kandy to our doctor, Joseph P. Lewis, Jr., who put a shoulder-type casting on her that she wore for approximately three weeks. In addition he gave her some treatment to her knee. She remained under his care until time for her to return to school after the holidays.
DeVonne and I drove up to BYU after Kandy's Junior Year and brought her home from school, with most of the things she had accumulated at the “Y.” For a young girl, living away from home each school year, and with her boy friend away on a Mission for the Church for two years, it was a bit of a depressed time for Kandy, I believe.
As we drove home, with her sitting in the back seat of the car and her things piled around her, she made comments that led me to believe she was concerned about what the future would bring for her. She finally said she was glad that she could come home, and I said: “Kandy, you can always come home.” I didn't realize how my statement hit her until she told me later how the tears came to her eyes and she had appreciated what I had said very much.
During the summer months of her time at the “Y” Kandy worked in the UCLA Hospital for Dean Lundy who I had been associated with for several years. This went a long way in supporting her in school each year.
On 12 September 1967 Kandy and Roger were married in the Los Angeles Temple. We held an evening garden reception at our home in Panorama City. I spruced up the yard as much as possible, planting new lawn in one area, borrowing some lighting equipment from the Physical Plant at UCLA that I installed on the eaves of our house, and also in our huge silver leaf maple tree. Roger, Dicky, Reggie and I each wore a tux with white jackets, white shirts, black pants and black ties. DeVonne wore a pretty lime colored lace dress made just like the brides gown only knee length. Kandy looked radiant in her white lace, floor length, wedding gown with long sleeves and a finger tip veil with fresh flowers in her hair. The catering was done by Merlene Calaruso Catering from Sherman Oaks. Everything went exceptionally well and Kandy really appreciated it. Kandy's wedding and reception were the only ones in which all three of our children were in attendance.
In 1968 Kandy completed her university schooling, receiving a Bachelor of Science Degree in Child Development and Family Relations at BYU. She walked across the stage to receive her diploma in Cap and Gown, while she was eight months pregnant with her first child, Rodrick Clarke Zierenberg. Simultaneously, our son Reggie received his Masters Degree in English Literature from the Brigham Young University.
Roger came home from his Mexican Mission in March of 1967. He had already completed two years of college. Kandy should have graduated in June of 1967 but she switched majors from Business to Child Development and Family Relations so she had to go four and one half years to graduate. Roger was accepted at Loyola University School of Dentistry in Chicago, Illinois for the Fall term of 1969. A week later he was drafted for the Vietnam War. He got out of the draft because of his letter of acceptance to dental school. Then they found they couldn't afford to start dental school that Fall so they went back to BYU for one semester and Rod got the few credits he needed to graduate in the Fall of 1969.
In January 1970 they returned to the San Fernando Valley and an apartment in North Hollywood. Rod started working in the oil fields at El Segundo at $4.00/hour to earn money to go to dental school in the Fall. Later he got a job as a journeyman carpenter for $6.00/hour helping to build a roof on a large reservoir in the Newhall area.
Rodrick Clarke was born 7 July 1968 in the Utah Valley LDS Memorial Hospital at Provo, Utah.
Jason King was born 28 August 1969 in the Van Nuys Community Hospital, Van Nuys, California as Kandy, Rod and Roddy were home for the summer. Dr. Joseph P. Lewis was Kandy's doctor.
After gaining admission to Loyola University School of Dentistry Roger and Kandy, with their two children, drove back to Chicago in 1970 and Roger started his four years of post graduate work in Dentistry. They made their home in Berwyn, Illinois which is a suburb of Chicago and near the University. Roger washed windows that summer in the elite neighborhoods of the area and then worked in the Emergency Room at the Hospital, plus making gold crowns for a local dentist. Kandy took care of her boys, and did baby sitting of other children from time to time. This got Roger through school for the most part, with a little help from his parents and us. Student loans made up for the difference. After completing his education and starting his practice, Rod paid us back, with interest, all that we had loaned or given him. He also paid his parents back, and the student loans he took out. In today's world that doesn't happen as often as it should.
Roger excelled in his school work. He was the Co-Valedictorian of his class and distinguished himself with several awards at the graduation exercises on 8 June 1974, held at the Conrad Hilton Hotel in Chicago. These awards included: An Operative Department award, A Beta Tau Delta Scholarship award in the Undergraduate Professional Fraternity, an Alpha Omega National Scholarship award, and membership in Omicron Kappa Upsilon.
In his valedictorian address Roger said, in part:
“Personally, I have really enjoyed this time, and I hope that each of you feels the same. Sure, there have been times when nothing seemed to go right. There have been some moments of frustration and disappointment, and times when the pressures seemed unbearable. But I think that learning to cope with these things is all part of our education. We must realize that if we've never experienced a bitter taste that it's impossible to appreciate that which is sweet.
“I hope that as we do leave dental school, and each of goes his separate way, that we will act as professionals, representing our school and the dental profession in a proper manner and treating others as we ourselves would like to be treated. We are entering a great profession, and our opportunities for success are unlimited. But I think that we must take care not to allow our success in the dental world result in failures in our own homes. It has been stated, and I believe this to be true, that 'No success can compensate for failure in the home.' It seems to be a well publicized fact that where broken homes are concerned, dentists rank near the top of the list. I hope that in recognizing this trend, and being aware of this pitfall, that each of us will avoid problems of this nature and will instead develop strong family relationships and happy homes.
“Today is a happy day. The future ahead looks bright, but we haven't done it ourselves. Let us express our appreciation to the faculty, the staff, to our parents and to our wives and husbands for their help in arriving at this great achievement. We hope that they share in our happiness this day.
“I personally would like to express my gratitude publicly to my parents, to my wife's parents and especially to my wife for their love, support and encouragement during these past four years. Thank you.”
That sounds like a pretty good start for a man who has become the father of eleven children and is now serving as a Bishop in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Rod was ordained Bishop by President Grant R. Brimhall and set apart as Bishop of the Moorpark Ward in Thousand Oaks Stake on 18 January 1987.
Kathrine Andrea was born in the Loyola University Medical Center in Maywood, Illinois, a suburb of Chicago, on 9 October 1971. She has always been “Chicago Kate” to me.
Trevor Reid was born in Maywood, Illinois on 6 May 1973.
I received the following letter from Kandy on my birthday in 1973:
“Dear Daddy,
Happy Birthday! Hope you have a good day. What is this - 56th? Looks like you still have a long way to go! I hope you are taking good care of yourself and that you're listening to your 'Nutrition Leader' wife! I want my children to not only get to know you as their “Grampa,” but also get to know you for the great man that you are.
I love you very much, Daddy, and am so grateful for having grown up in your protective care. I don't think you were too strict with me (or D & R), because it was a real basis for order and discipline in my life. The limits you set and consistently enforced gave me security and yet self-confidence to seek my own independence in a quite smooth transitional way - something that is very much lacking in the youth of today, it seems.
Rod's Patriarchal Blessing says, in two separate places, that his children will be obedient to their parents. With the example and training that you have given me, I feel very confident that we will be able to help this promise come to pass.
And of course I know that limits, enforcement, and strictness must be equaled to the love we give them (I meant to say that the other way around!) Although I don't think it was expressed quite so much as I would have liked, I always knew that you loved me very much all the time I was growing up. And because of this love and discipline by both you and Mommy, I feel that I have developed a very good and wholesome attitude on life and family. And I thank you both very much - it is so important - I won't have to go quite as far as a lot of others in our road to perfection in all things.
With much love and appreciation,
Kandy”
Returning to California after receiving his DDS degree the family lived in Redlands while Roger went to Loma Linda to get his Masters Degree and Advanced Degree in Orthodontics.
Heidi May was born 7 November 1975 in the Loma Linda Hospital at Loma Linda, California. This was the same hospital that her Mother, Kandy, was born in on 21 January 1946.
After receiving his degree in Orthodontics from Loma Linda Roger moved his family to Thousand Oaks in 1976 and established his Orthodontic practice. Meanwhile they became interested in raising Rex Rabbits and selling their furs. They created the Zierenberg Family Farm for tax write-off and self-sufficiency. They bought Arabian horses at the same time for breeding, show and selling but didn't bring them home until later.
The children kept coming:
Ginger Dee was born 13 November 1977 in Westlake Community Hospital, Westlake Village, California.
In May of 1979 the family moved to Honey Hill Drive just off Santa Rosa Road in the Santa Rosa Valley north of Thousand Oaks. They continued their rabbit project and brought their Arabian horses home.
Amber Lyn was born 25 June 1979.
Summer Lee was born 3 July 1981.
Brandi Rae was born 12 November 1983.
All three of the above were born in Los Robles Hospital, Thousand Oaks, California.
In December 1983 Rod and Kandy bought a 20 acre ranch in the hills northwest of the City of Moorpark. They continued to live on Honey Hill Drive but moved some of their horses to the ranch. They had discontinued the rabbit project and were well into the Arabian horse business.
Wendy Ann was born 2 March 1985 in Los Robles Hospital, Thousand Oaks, California.
Derek Rand was born 17 June 1987 in Westlake Community Hospital, Westlake Village, California. A friend of Kandy's had recently had a baby and instead of going home she went to a hotel where they had room service and she had all the comforts of the hospital without the expense of a few more days. Kandy figured she could outdo her and came and stayed with us the day after Derek was born and relied on DeVonne to take care of her and Derek for five days. DeVonne loved it.
For the most part Kandy's health, and that of her family, has been good. She has delivered eleven children, had two mis-carriages, and she enjoys sometimes telling people: “Of my eleven children, seven have had ten hernias. It's hereditary. (Rod had one when he was two!)”
The home in Santa Rosa, with only five bedrooms was too cramped for the size of their family so they bought a trailer to house the three older boys.
In September 1987 the family moved to the ranch and into a small house that was already on the property. With the size of their family they brought in a couple of trailer homes to house all the kids. They kept their house on Honey Hill Drive and rent it.
Soon after moving to the ranch, Kandy started plans for her “Dream Home.” After having the house plans prepared by a designer, with Rod supplying the funds from his Orthodontic Practice and Kandy acting as job superintendent they began building the home in 1987, hiring individual contractors for the various phases of the work. Rod coordinates the work schedules of the various contractors to keep the job moving. Kandy has spent hours and hours on almost a daily basis watching the work progress, reviewing plans with the contractors, making changes, etc., and seeing that things are done right. Except for a registered architect I doubt that any woman (and few men) knows as much about building a house as Kandy does.
They are building the house as their money becomes available for it and, as such, they will not have a huge mortgage when it is finished. At this writing the house is plastered outside, the roofing tile in place and drywall installed inside. Cabinet work is one of the next phases.
Rodrick and Jason, the two oldest boys, are now serving Missions for the Church. Rod is in the Dominican Republic and Jason is serving in the Provo, Utah area. Rod is due home in January 1990 as he extended his mission for a month or so. Jason will complete his mission around September 1990.
Kandy has been a delightful daughter to both DeVonne and me. She is very caring and loving and shows considerable attention to us.
With all her responsibilities of caring for a husband and eleven children, her Church responsibilities, building her home, etc., she still finds time to drop in on us from time to time and bring us things that she considers we might like to have. She is so very thoughtful and considerate of us in all ways. We are always invited to share her family events like the children's baptisms, birthday parties, holidays, etc. Early this Spring she and Rod rented a beach house for a week and shared it with all the extended families on both her side and Rod's side. I could not ask for a better, nicer, sweeter, dearer and loving daughter; and I truly believe that there are very few fathers who have the blessings that come from such a daughter. I love her so very much.