CHAPTER 21 - BETTY
From Richard's memoirs, recovered from his original WordPerfect files
My sister, Elizabeth Arlene Clarke, is a little over two years younger than I and was two years behind me in school. I don't recall very much about our relationship as brother and sister, probably because she was a girl and I a boy. Our interests were undoubtedly quite different. I cannot recall ever being in a serious disagreement with her. We seemed to get along very well. That was somewhat different from my relationship with Bob, my older brother. I always felt he was trying to straighten me out on something or other. I don't think I tried to do that with Betty, or she with me.
I remember we took piano lessons from our teacher Eleanor Larsen. Each Saturday we would go up to her house for our lessons. They cost twenty-five cents apiece. Once, for a short while, I would go to school Monday mornings and would find fifty cents in change in my pocket and I couldn't recall where it came from. I would question Dad and Mother and they wondered where I got it as well, but they suggested I save it until I found out where. Finally, Eleanor called Mother to tell her Betty and I were behind in our payments for our music lessons and the mystery was solved. The folks always gave me fifty cents for our lessons each Saturday and I would forget to give the money to Eleanor.
Bette has reminded me that we used to go to Sunday School together when we were quite young and then would end at a movie afterward.
She became interested in stamps while she was pretty young. Both Dad and Bob got her hooked on collecting. She bought stamps during her high school days and when Bob came home from Stanford, he would ask where she got some of them and then would promptly talk her out of them. Later he helped her sell her collection. Bette says she learned a lot of geography from stamp collecting because she was curious to find out where the countries were all over the world.
She started bowling in San Bernardino and later bowled in a CSAA League for several years in San Francisco. Since retiring she has taken up golf and has played quite a bit. When she moved to Novato she found there isn't a nine hole course nearby and she doesn't seem to have the time for it much anymore anyway.
Bette and Jimmy Verdieck were Sports Editors for the school paper (Pepper Bough) at Colton Union High School and they had fun periodically changing their names. First it was Bettee & Jimmiee, then Bettie & Jimmie, and finally Bette & Jimme. Bette has stayed with her. I don't know about Jimmy Verdieck. Jim was a real nice guy and a great athlete at Colton High. The last I heard of him he had retired after many years as the tennis coach at the University of Redlands.
Carole Helman was Bette's closest friend from Kindergarten through two years of college. She spent many times with Carole and her family ovenight and learned quite a few Jewish customs that they practiced in the home because her grandmother lived with them. Bette could not use the same silverware or have the same food as the family during Passover, Rosh Hashana or Yom Kippur. She was Carole's maid of honor at her wedding in the Helman family home in Colton. It was a Jewish wedding with a canope held over the heads of the Bride & Groom while the Rabbi gave the service. Both Bride & Groom and the Rabbi had a drink of wine from the same goblet and them the Groom, Mel Fuchs, stepped on it and broke it into many pieces to signify that the marriage would last and be permanent because nobody could put the goblet back together. Anyone who has seen “Fidler on the Roof” will remember the wedding scene that was done exactly the same way. Bette and Carole still correspond but only during our Christian holidays.
When Bette was 16 years old, Dad had purchased a new 1936 Pontiac. He let Bette drive it after a couple of weeks and she picked up her friend, Bernice Zwick, with two other girls. She drove down 8th Street in Colton, turned east on “I” Street, honked at some boyfriends working in a service station, turned left on 9th Street and then right on “H” Street and let out one of the girls. Just after she got out of the car, Bette saw “Old Bennett,” a local cop, beside her on his motorcycle. He told her she had four in the front seat and Bette tried to convince him that the one that had gotten out had not been in the car. Bennett told her she was disturbing the peace by honking, she didn't signal for her turns, was going too fast and had no driver's license, plus four in the front seat. The car was only a two-door and Bette wasn't old enough to get a license. Bette told him he might as well check everything on the ticket, and he did.
Days later she had to go to Court with Dad and Judge Temby really gave her quite a lecture. When he finished he turned to Dad and said: “I don't know what we can do with these kids. My grandson, Gordon Temby, wants to use the car, and I let him. Gordon was about Bette's age. A few days later Bette was with Carole Helman in her Dad's car and Bennett stopped them (probably for speeding). When he saw who it was in the car he said: “Forget it! Your Dads get the tickets fixed anyway.” Several years later Bette met Bennett socially and he turned out to be really a good guy.
From the above account of Bette's, and my driving problems at the same age, Dad must have really had his headaches with the two of us. I don't know if he went through the same thing with Bob or not.
Betty graduated from Colton Union High School in 1937 and then went on to San Bernardino Junior College and graduated from there in 1940. Mother had been in an automobile accident and was in bed for over a month and Betty took some time out of school to care for her. She studied a year at UCLA and then started working. Betty got the short end of the stick as far as education was concerned as Dad was pretty strapped for money after he put Bob and me through Stanford. However, Betty did fine for herself and is a great credit to our family. She majored in Sociology in College and became an accountant which was quite a switch.
On Betty's eighteenth birthday Mother prepared a birthday dinner for her and the folks and I. After the meal Dad offered Betty and Mother a cigarette and me a cigar. Betty was so shocked to find that Mother smoked (she never inhaled) that it took Betty a long time to accept it. Betty got smart some years later and gave up smoking and hasn't touched a cigarette in years.
She began working at the San Bernardino County Recorder's Office in 1941 and worked four and one half years, until 1946. Then because they wouldn't give her a raise she “got mad and quit.” She worked for Security Title Insurance in 1946 for three months and then went back to the Recorder's Office with a raise and worked as Supervisor of the “Copy Room” until 1950. In those days all documents recorded were typed - no computers!
Bette joined Mother's Eastern Star Chapter in Colton in 1940 while Mother was Deputy Grand Matron. This enabled Bette to take Mother, or go with her, on her various visits to all the chapters under her command. Dad didn't belong to the Eastern Star then but later joined a chapter in San Bernardino and was initiated and installed as Worthy Patron the same night.
In 1950 Betty decided to try her luck in San Francisco. She knew that Mott Brunton, an old friend of Dad and Mother's, was going to liquidate his automotive supply company but she went to see him for suggestions about job hunting. He also had a radio station next door to his auto supply store. Mott told her to put her name in with the Masonic Employment Agency (which she did). They called her later and told her to go to such and such an address on Pine Street. It was Mott's Auto Supply Store. He didn't even know he hired her until she walked out and he saw her. Betty worked for him from March to June of 1950. She had an apartment in the City and shared it with Mary Eugenia Benson. Mary was also from San Bernardino and Betty met her in a bowling league. Betty lived in San Francisco from February 1950 until 1957.
In June of 1950 she began working for the California State Automobile Association-Inter Insurance Bureau (AAA) and continued to work for them until she retired on 31 December 1981. She had a long and varied experience working for the AAA. She made a point of asking for a raise every year and always got one. She moved up in the organization as far as any woman could go and ended in charge of the company's financial investments. This in itself has made her an expert in understanding the financial world of the market and of stocks and bonds, etc. Her job also entailed preparing Monthly Financial Statements and comments on the ups and downs and reasons for such. She also prepared all the Investment Reports for the Annual Statement for the CSAA, CSAA-IIB and Pension plans for each. With this training she has also conserved her finances wisely and can do just about as she pleases now that she is retired. In addition, she has given me financial advice from time to time for investing what money we could.
Bette and Mary moved out of the City to 35 Ryan, Mill Valley in Marin County in 1957 and then when Mother and Dad made a down payment on a home in Belvedere-Tiburon, she moved in to care for them in 1961 and took over the payments on the house. Eventually, Mother and Dad deeded the house to Bette. For Mother and Dad the price of the house was $15,900. They returned to the southland in 1962 and both died in 1965. Over the years Bette kept the place in good repair, including living through at least two floods from the rains and back up in the storm drains that flowed into the bay. She sold it in 1987 for $185,000.
Bette met Betty Oxley through mutual friends in early 1969 and started sharing the house at 270 Cecilia Way in Tiburon in 1970.
In 1972 the Bettes bought a home together at 764 Las Colindas Road, Terra Linda (San Rafael) in Marin County where they lived for 14 years.
Betty Oxley (Mary Elizabeth Oxley) was born in Salt Lake City. Graduated from the University of Utah and took graduate work at the University of Iowa. She was a bacteriologist and was head of the Laboratory at the University of California San Francisco Medical Center before retiring.
Bette kept the home in Tiburon and rented it out to Catherine (Kate) Oxley (Betty's sister) and Marion Read. In 1987 Bette sold the house at 270 Cecilia Way and they also sold the house in Terra Linda and bought their present home at 55 Bonnie Brae Drive in Novato, California. Kate and Marion moved with them to the house in Novato. Kate died on her 81st birthday on 19 April 1988. The Bettes, Kate and Marion all belong to the Neptune Society and Kate's body was cremated and the ashes scattered at sea from a small ship with a simple ceremony that they appreciated. Marion is still with them.
The Neptune Society is like any other funeral organization, only it is much cheaper. The Society owns a 60 foot yacht, the “Naiad,” which is used for scattering cremated remains at sea. A friend of Bette's who died recently paid only $578.76 for the entire cost of cremation and scattering at sea. Bette is signed up for it. They also have regular funerals. DeVonne and I have opted for the more conventional method of burial. We have companion vaults, one atop the other. The first one to go gets in on the ground floor.
Betty has travelled extensively; visiting Europe, China, Iran, Africa, Alaska, Mexico, Canada, Hawaii and the Caribbean. She was with Bob and Dura in 1961 when they visited Cousin Hettie in St. Albans, England. In 1972 & 1975, Bette, with Betty and Kate Oxley visited Bob and Dura in Tehran, Iran.
Since Bob's death, Bette and I have tried to visit each other at least once each year. Usually she comes down to our place one year and DeVonne and I go up to hers the next. With this little personal contact and some telephone calls I have still been able to note a great quality in Bette. Although she is very independent, she is very caring for and helpful to her friends and associates. I have on many occasions observed her going out of her way to assist someone ill or with other problems.